Gratitude Mindfulness

 Welcome to our look into gratitude.

Gratitude is a great mindfulness which can boost your mood and the moods of others. Studies show us that when we practice making a list of gratitude (3-5) we have high levels of happiness and lower levels of depression. When we then take time to share the gratitude with others, we boost their mood and again boost ours even more.

When I meet with students on Google Meet, I ask every morning for a gratitude. Sadly, what I often hear is "I don't have one." I want to ask "how can you not?" Instead I take time to share my gratitude, reflect on what might be important in life, and give ideas of gratitude.

Below is a lost of gratitude prompts:

Gratitude Prompts

1.     About yourself

2.     Something beautiful

3.     Military

4.     A song

5.     An accomplishment

6.     Something you’ve created

7.     A friend

8.     A smell

9.     A touch

10.  A taste

11.  A sight

12.  A sound

13.  What makes you smile

14.  Favorite season

15.  Something you like about Summer

16.  Something you like about Spring

17.  Something you like about Winter

18.  Something you like about Fall

19.  A holiday

20.  A time of day

21.  A country

22.  A state

23.  A city

24.  Any place

25.  About where you live

26.  A favorite food

27.  A favorite drink

28.  An ability

29.  A family member

30.  Any person

31.  Someone you look up to

32.  Someone you respect

33.  Someone who inspires you

34.  Something you look forward to

35.  A happy life lessons

36.  A difficult life lessons

37.  Something that challenges you

38.  A personality trait in yourself

39.  A personality trait in others

40.  Your heritage

41.  Item you use daily

42.  Most prized possession

43.  Hobbies

44.  Something about school/work

45.  Technology

46.  A movie

47.  A TV show

48.  A podcast/YouTube Channel

49.  A book

50.  What you do for fun

51.  Something that makes you laugh

52.  Something nice

53.  A part of nature

54.  A gift you’ve been able to give

55.  A gift you were given

56.  A hope

57.  A compliment

58.  A passion

59.  An animal

60.  A pet

61.  A family tradition

62.  Medicine

63.  Doctors

64.  Police

65.  Firefighters

66.  Fire Alarms—even in the cold

67.  Teachers

68.  Clothes

69.  Electricity

70.  Heat

71.  Air Conditioning

72.  Transportation

73.  Cleaning supplies (with a pandemic, who isn't thankful for this one!)

74.  Exercise

75.  Health

76.  Education

77.  Mindfulness—use mindful gratitude to be thankful for this practice which helps us be present, calmed, and focused

78.  Love

79.  Kindness

80.  Understanding

81.  Comfort

82.  Forgiveness

83.  Color

84.  Indoor plumbing

85.  Blankets 

86.  Giant Coloring Pages

87.  Sport you watch or play

88.  A value you hold

89.  Your faith/beliefs

90.  Favorite store

91.  Smiles (we had “what makes you smile” this one would be seeing others smile!)

92.  Hugs

93.  Kisses

94.  Free time

95.  Art

96.  Weekends

97.  Quiet moments

98.  Forgiveness

99.  Life

Maybe you have one I have missed. Feel free to share in the comments. Help us build a language of gratitude. 

Help your student take time each day to reflect on a gratitude. Make this a family time activity. Make it a wake up routine. Make it a bedtime routine. 

Each morning I write my gratitude list. Each evening before bed I write my list of "what went well today." I start and end my day with positive thinking.

I encourage you to try this and engage your whole family too!

SEL at home

 Were you ever given permission to feel?

This may sound like an odd question. This question implies that you live in a world where feelings are not alright to experience unless given the green light to go. Social Emotional Learning(SEL) teaches us that all emotions are valid, acceptable, and we are allowed to feel at any time. 

For many the first education on emotions is taught at home. Historically we have been taught feelings based on; gender, race, ethnicity, and culture. Many boys are taught to not show sadness or sensitivity. Many girls are taught to smile and not show anger. Research also shows us that boys of color are taught to not be loud and move slow, so as not to appear scary. 

The messages we are taught at home are the ones we carry with us throughout life.

Taking time to teach SEL skills at home will help to build confidence, understanding, and increase empathy.

SEL at home

The link above is a great video, introducing the idea of SEL at home and school and how it can work together.

When we allow space for feelings to be felt and accepted, we allow space for our students to feel supported, understood, and thus increase their drive and ability to learn. 

Mood Identification

 "If we can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health."-Fred Rogers

For some of us Mr. Rogers and his neighbor taught us a lot about how to treat ourselves and others while entertaining us too. If I was home sick from school Mr. Rogers is what I would request to watch. This last week I started to take an online college course and the quote from Fred Rogers was in the class notes. It really stuck a cord with me and set me to thinking about how we teach our students about feelings.

I recently started reading the book Maybe You Should Take to Someone, by psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb and she also talks about the topic of how we address feelings. She states that often times women have the advantage over men when it comes to talking about feelings. She states that this is due to the fact that young girls are taught that it is alright to feel while young boys are often taught to be tough. 

Today, as we learn more and more about the human brain, we learn that we need to teach our children how to talk about feelings. There is a saying in psychotherapy "you have to name it to tame it." Simply put, if you want to understand and better handle an emotion, you need to know the name of the emotion you are feeling.

In his book, Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett a professor at Yale, introduces us to the Mood Meter. This graphic is a great way to start introducing feelings and talking about which we are experiencing. 

The X axis is the Pleasantness of the feeling and the Y axis is the Energy of the feeling. When we are low on pleasant and low on energy we are in the blue zone feeling; tired, bored, lonely, glum, etc. As we move up in energy but remain low in pleasantness we begin to experience; livid, angry, annoyed, peeved, etc. We can notice that once our pleasant feelings increase we enter the yellow and the green, depending on our energy.

The more we explore this graphic, the more we can name a feeling. Once we name a feeling we can decided to either sit with the feeling or shift the feeling.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept emotions as valid and real; no matter what zone they may be in at the moment. Practicing noticing feelings also shows us that feelings do not define us or our day; but rather can be seen as as plot point on our day. 

After we look at the mood meter we can ask ourselves "Is this emotion I am feeling helping me?" This question can help you see if you should sit with the feeling (usually those in green and yellow) or shift the feeling (usually those in red and blue). 

When helping your own student learn how to identify and talking about feelings take some time to show courage and identify your own. Remember studies show us that humans respond to the emotions of others. This means that if you are angry, you will speak from a place of anger, and thus your student will in turn experience anger and relate back to you in anger. 

Give the Mood Meter a try this week. Talk about feelings and validate them. The are real and present. Share your feelings with your student and allow them to share their feelings with you.

Mindfully Managing Fear to Find Courage

When we think about courage we often associate the word with; strength, fearlessness, and being tough. Sometimes courage looks like none of these things. Sometimes courage is that small voice telling you to keep trying one more time.

Mindfulness is a great way to cultivate a life of courage. Helping your student seek out courage can be as simple as taking some time to sit with them and teaching them to know and understand their own feelings.

Getting to know ourselves on a deep and honest level can take the very most courage we have. Avoiding feelings, avoiding challenges, avoiding understanding; all of this can be must easier than exploring the feelings, challenges, and things we need to understand. 

Mindful courage can sometimes simply look like saying "yes, I am afraid."

A couple of weeks back I was working with a couple of kindergarten friends and asking them about fear. I was helping them think about how mindfulness can help them overcome fear. The young boys told me that they were not afraid of anything. They said that they were strong and brave.

I talked with the boys about fear and how it can help us grow and help others. When we see our fears as as an opportunity to grow we can help others do the same.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept a feeling, as is, don't change it, don't deny it. Feel it. Accept it. Understand it.

As I continued to work with the boys they were able to share about times that the dark scared them. We explored taking deep breaths, asking for help, listening to surrounds to understand the darkness and being brave. 

The boys were able to be brave and share a fear and then be even braver and share how they would use mindfulness to calm their fear and work through it.

We can use our 90 second rule to feel our fear and then let it go and utilize courage. Courage is about finding our inner strength and accepting the feelings. 

Kindness Matters

 When it is cold outside it is easy to become grumpy and find yourself snapping out responses to others. Being negative is easy, being kind takes work. But it is work worth doing, and doing well.

I love listening to podcasts filled with experts sharing knowledge from their field. My favorite being the field of psychology. We can learn so much about ourselves and others when we explore our minds, how they work, and how that translates into how we behave. 

Over the weekend I was introduced to Professor Jamil Zaki. He is a psychology professor at Stanford University. He is also the author of the book; The War for Kindness. 

In his book and as a professor Jamil talks with us about kindness and empathy and how these actions and traits can make us better people and help us help others to be better as well. In his book Jamil shares that children who regularly see empathy in their environment will show more empathy. When we practice kindness and empathy we teach others with our actions how to be kinder.

Jamil also talks about one of my favorite mindful meditations; Metta Loving-Kindness. This mindful meditation asks us to first send love and warm wishes to ourselves, then send this kindness to those we love and care for, and then end with sending warm wishes and kind thoughts to those who challenge us/those we don't get along with/ those we just don't like. This kind of mindfulness can be challenging, but when done daily it can help increase empathy and kindness. (There are also benefits for physical and mental health! Check out this website for more information. Science behind Metta Loving-Kindness Mindful Meditation)

As we close out the month of Perseverance and look forward to the month of Courage I want to take some time to challenge us to be kinder and help our students, your children, be kinder. Let's show courage and practice empathy.

On his website, Jamil shares a one week challenge, asking us to join his Empathy Gym, and work toward being kinder and showing more empathy.

This link Kindness Challenge will take you to Jamil's web page which focuses on his Empathy Gym. Jamil has five videos and asks us to take five days this week to be kinder and show more empathy.

Here are the 5 Challenges:

1. Empathy toward Yourself --- this is where we start with the Metta Loving-Kindness mindful meditation. Jamil talks about the golden rule and turning it inward. Sometime we cannot treat others how we would want to be treated when we don't start with treating ourselves well. We need to show our children that loving ourselves matters. Being kinder to ourselves matters. Take one day this week to be kinder to yourself. Let this be visible to others.

2. Spend on someone else. --- Taking time out of our day to use our resources to contribute to the positive well-being of another person. This means that take time to spend time, money, or energy on another person. When we begin to take care of another person we are building our ability to understand what others are going through and learn to share in their needs at that moment.

3.Disagree better--- This one can be a challenge. As I look at this challenge and begin to think about how I plan to work on it this week, this is the number that stops me. I don't really know where to start. I am nervous about having this disagreement with someone. Jamil shares that this act of empathy helps us better understand another person's point of view while also working on how to more effectively formulate and present our opinions. Here were are asked to find someone we disagree with and have a productive discussion with them. 

4.Kind-tech.... If ever there were a time to use technology to be kinder, it is now. All you have to do is open up one type of social media to find negativity and unkindness. It isn't just our youth that struggle with kindness online. Adults are great at leaving nasty comments when they disagree with another person. Jamil talks about technology having the potential to be one of our greatest sources of empathy and yet we have turned it into a monster filled with hurt that then destroys happiness.  Now we are asked and encourage to reach out and send kindness online. Or even post something personal, vulnerable, and open; allowing others to be able to reach out kindness toward you. 

5. Encouraging a culture of kindness... In the final challenge we are asked to recognize and acknowledge the empathy in others. Let someone know you see their kindness and you appreciate this trait and effort. Challenge others to show empathy. It doesn't have to be complicated. You can direct them to Jamil's website, this blog, or simply share kindness and ask them to pay it forward.

Yesterday I made brownies for my family. I told them in order to eat them they were required to do one act of kindness for another person. They thought I was joking. My husband looked at me in a way that let me know he thought I had gone crazy. My 14-year-old stopped dead in his tracks, confused. My nine-year-old is always helping the baby, this was easy for her. And my sweet two-year-old will say "bless you" when you sneeze, tell you "be careful" if she thinks you need support and runs up and give the best hugs saying "I miss you". She has kindness mastered. My kind act was making the brownies 😉 My husband did some dishes and made breakfast and even the 14-year-old figured out what to do. He asked if I needed him to start the dishwasher. 

Kindness matters. Psychologist Adam Grant states that he asks his children at the end of a school day, not "how are your grades?" but "who did you help?" 

Kindness matters.

I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to work on empathy and kindness. Then once you start, ask your child/children to join in. Let's start this year filled with Loving-Kindness and Empathy.

Movement and the Mind

 Happy Monday and Welcome Back.

Last week I started a Yoga and Mindfulness Challenge with students. ALO Yoga and Mindfulness, a yoga program you can find on YouTube or in the link I have included has a 12 week program for students. If we follow this program it takes us from last week when we started back to school all the way to the week before spring break. What a wonderful journey this can be for our minds and bodies!

Mindfulness and Yoga Challenge

The students shared that this site does not work on their school devises. Don't worry, you can find it all on YouTube as well. Just search for ALO Yoga for Kids. Below is a link to an introductory video which shares about this program.

ALO Yoga and Mindfulness

This week I wanted to take some time to talk about movement and the benefits it has on our minds and bodies. More and more research is coming out stating that the more we move the happier we are. The research is also showing that the more we move the better our brains overall health can become. Some studies suggest that moving, more than crossword (or other brain teaser puzzles) , can help our brains stay healthier and stave off deterioration. 

In Eric Jensen's book Teaching with the brain in mind, he talks in the 4th chapter about  movement and learning. He shares that physical education helps strengthen many parts of the brain and increase the baseline of new neuron growth. Jensen sights the Kempermann 2002 study which shares that this neurogenesis is linked to increased cognition, better memory, and reduced likelihood of depression. 

Yoga is a great way to get our bodies moving and continue our mindful breathing. As we learn to stretch our bodies we are also learning focus and concentration. Yoga helps us slow our bodies, breathe deep, and focus on the present. These are all skills that can be utilized when learning. 

If you are interested in following the ALO Yoga and Mindfulness it will be about 5 minutes of your time each day. Jump in and become active with your student. When we, as adults, practice with students we show them it is important to us and we care enough to work alongside them.

The 90 Second Rule (as it is called at times.)

 Welcome to 2021. 

For many a new year provides a sense of a new hope, a new change, and often a new resolution. Research has shown that around 50% of adults will make a new years resolution, but only about 10% will keep it.

Setting a resolution and keeping it can be a challenge. For me smaller daily goals is a more attainable way to change my habits for the better. 

Over the break while engaging in my own personal mindfulness I was introduced to a topic that really intrigued and resonated with me. A topic that spurred me to do research and set a goal for myself regarding how I experience my emotions.  

Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor a neuroscientist at Harvard, in her book My Stroke of Insight, talks about the concept that emotions only have a 90 second life span. She goes on to explain that after 90 seconds the chemical components dissipate from our blood and the automatic response of an emotion ends. For most this is not the end to experiencing the emotion. The reason for the continuation is due to the choices we make. If we let the emotion continue the neuro circuit the emotion created in your brain will continue to run. This is called, rumination. Rumination is defined as the endless loop of thoughts that keep feelings alive in the body.

We could spend a lot of time reviewing the ins and outs of this concept. It is fascinating and helpful to understand. But to make it the most understandable and relatable I want to focus on how to experience our feelings and let them go so that we may continue our mindfulness journey for ourselves and our students.

Researchers have discovered key components to  how we can learn to feel an emotion for it's lifespan and then let it go. The most effective, mindfulness.

Mindfulness teaches us a way to witness our emotions without becoming entangled in the emotion. Mindfulness helps us evaluate our body's responses to help us evaluate if we are having a physiological experience or a psychological experience. 

Evolutionarily, in order to survive, our ancestors needed their brains to have a strong connection to negative emotions. Due to this our brains continue to be wired to hold on to and react more quickly to negative emotions and experiences. We have to work to create positive neuro pathways. The more we allow our bodies to feel a feeling, the more neuro pathways we cerate to that feeling, and the easier it is to feel and respond to that feeling.

If we continue to allow negative feelings to dominate we will experience them more often due to the neuro pathways.

If we utilize mindfulness we can work to create new neuro pathways to serene, peaceful, happy, and calm feelings. 

As our society has become more and more dependent on technology, our children have been experiencing more symptoms of depression, anxiety, and isolation (especially with the pandemic). 

Teaching mindfulness is a way to help our children learn to witness their emotions, correctly identify what they are and where they are coming from, and then how to let them live for 90 seconds and let them go.

Help your student start the new year with a daily goal to take 5-10 minutes each day to focus on deep breathing, noticing emotions and their body's responses, and how they respond to the emotions. Encourage them to keep a journal and write down their findings; this will help them identify triggers to negative emotions and reactions to emotions. 

Lastly, encourage some time outside; weather permitting. Researchers out of Stanford have found that spending time in nature reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety and helps us quiet the noise outside to helps us better listen to the sounds inside. We can calm our bodies and brains and gain better insight into our feelings and emotions.

  

"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." 

                                            Upper Peninsula, Michigan