May is Mental Health Awareness Month

 May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness:

1 out of 6 youth experience mental health conditions. Only half of those youth will receive treatment.

50% of all lifetime metal health begins by the age of 14.

The average delay between onset of symptoms and treatment is 11 years.

In 2020, 1 in 5 youth reported that the pandemic had a negative impact on their mental health.

In 2020 there was a 31% increase in mental health related ER visits among adolescents. 

According to the CDC:

In 2021 4 in 10 students reported they felt persistently sad or hopeless.

In 2021 1 in 5 students reported seriously considering suicide. And 1 in 10 students have attempted suicide.

The US Department of Health and Human Services reports that the most common mental health concerns for youth are; anxiety, depression, ADHD, and eating disorders.

How can we support our students and their mental health?

2 out of the top 3 ideas on the list put out by the CDC are; mindfulness and social emotional learning. Two things we already promote at as a school. We are working to support the mental health of your students.

You can too.

We utilize a program called Inner Explorer. You can connect with the Inner Explorer at Home app for free.

Did you know that research shows, what we focus on expands? This goes deeper than always being positive and the power of positive thinking. Studies show that those without depression symptoms tend to form more positive memories and have more positive memory recall. By utilizing mindfulness we expand the positive parts of our brain and promote positive memories and positive recall. 

Mental energy matters. 

I am sure many of you have heard the expression, neurons that fire together wire together, in short this means that the more we expand the positive parts of our brain the more we wire our brain for the positive. Mindfulness promotes the expansion of the positive and the increase in positive wiring. 

A good mindfulness practice is a simple one that follows three steps. 

Pause

Reframe

Kindness and Compassion

💓

Pause to think and reflect. (without judgment)

Reframe the thought. (we do not have to be positive but we can reframe a situation to see more than the negative.)

Kindness and Compassion toward yourself for where you currently are and where you would like to be and for how you are working on getting there. Be kind to your current self. Show compassion as you work toward a more positive future. 

Remember the best way to teach this to your students is to first teach it to yourself. 

Parenting is Challenging, We are here to Help

Two of my favorite psychologists are a source of my information this week. Dr. Becky Kennedy and Dr. Adam Grant. Both psychology impact how I parent, in a positive way. And I hope that you take some time to consider what will be shared this week.

Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant has a podcast called Re: Thinking with Adam Grant. On his podcast he hosted Clinical Psychologist Becky Kennedy. Dr. Kennedy is known as a parenting expert. If you have a moment check out her Instagram page. Her short advice videos will have you reflecting on your parenting/educating behaviors. During this episode of Dr. Grant's podcast the pair explored ideas in parenting.

Something that was said during the episode that really stuck out to me was a comment about the questions we ask. It was said that the questions we ask others show them the road we want to walk down with them. One example is the question that Adam Grant asks his children when they get home from school. And it is a question I have adopted and ask in my home too. The question is who did you help today? Dr. Grant shared that as he began to ask this question his wife suggested adding  who helped you today?  Dr. Grant admits that he was not fully onboard at first. He wanted to focus on his children becoming helpers and seeking ways to support others. His wife helped him understand that children need to also be taught to accept help and to let others support them. I love this idea. I have added this to my daughter's daily check in after school.

What questions might you be asking your student? Are you asking them if they were good? Or are you asking how they helped?

Another great idea that was present was from Dr. Kennedy. She shared that she likes to take time once a month or more if she can, to spend one-on-one time with her children. She said that during this time she makes sure her phone is rooms away. During this time she askes her children for a performance review. She asks "how can I do better?" or "what do you need from me?" She shared that her children have commented on screen time, use of specific apps, etc. This opens a line of communication and chance to allow a child to feel like they are important and their opinion  matters. Dr. Kennedy shared that she is then also able to share again her view point. 

As a parent this can be a scary idea. We don't want to let kids feel on equal footing with us. We are the authority. But this isn't about giving them a chance to change the rules but rather an opportunity to review them and why they were created. It gives them a chance to be heard and to hear you.

There were so many good points in the podcast. Go look it up and listen. I want to share just a couple more quick highlights.

During the conversation Dr. Kennedy said that as adults we need to get better at repair. Get good at repair. Apologize to students. Repair what has been broken. Children need to see humility. We make mistakes. 

Children need connection. They need to feel like adults care. Dr. Kennedy shared that the best advice she can give to anyone is to let children know that you believe in them. Children need to hear " I believe in you." Children also need to know what adults believe them. They need to hear "I believe you." 

Mindful Grit is Perseverance

 

Mindful Grit is Perseverance

Perseverance. It is a great word. Saying it makes you feel driven. 

Grit. Similar to perseverance, is also a word that when you say it or think it, you feel it. 

If you have Grit, you Persevere. 

On her website KimRoberts.Co Kim shares " Perseverance seems super-human in the face of never-ending hold-up."

This is something which relates to many of us. When we are faced with a challenge we are unsure we can meet we feel that digging deep for grit and perseverance is a super-human task we cannot muster. The thought to keep going can be a daunting one. We just don't want to do it anymore, not when giving up seems so much easier.

On her website Kim also states that perseverance is showing-up. The beginning of perseverance is simply to show up.

Kim also shares two other things she feels are important parts to perseverance. She states that we need to set intentions. Know what you want to do. Set it as your intention. This gives you your  goal to work toward. This creates the plan. 

Before you show up and set your intentions Kim shares that you must first commit/recommit to a mindfulness meditation practice. 

Why? Good question. 

Research shows that mindfulness helps us develop grit. And as we have learned, grit is perseverance.

Mindfulness encourages us to act with awareness and intention. Awareness and intention have been shown to be predictors of consistency. These are all key aspects in developing grit. 

Mindfulness is an amazing tool which helps us navigate setbacks while sustaining interest and focus on a goal. 

Mindfulness helps us learn; better, calmer, and more productive ways to reevaluate a situation.

If we practice mindfulness we can learn to visualize a setback and work on positive ways to maintain expectations. 

Mindfulness keeps us in the moment, resets experiences, suspend judgment, address anxiety, gain control, and prevent catastrophizing. A daily mindfulness practice can also help us learn the difference between a downward spiral and an upward spiral. Mindfulness helps change our inner voice to one of encouragement and determination and can helps us keep commitments.

On his website RonRutland.com, Ron shares stories of his various journeys in life. One journey began June 20, 2013 and lasted 27 months. For 27 months Ron biked across 75 Countries with the goal of making it to the 2015 rugby world cup in England. 

Ron shares that he quite his corporate job, sold his belongs and started his bike journey in South Africa; just him, a backpack, and a bike.

As he shares about his experience Ron states that during his trip two things got him through; mindfulness and perseverance. Ron shares that he did not simply practice mindfulness but rather feels he became mindfulness and this built his perseverance.

With the start of a new year and many resolutions being made (and wanting to be kept...perseverance perhaps) let's set an intention toward mindfulness. 

Choose Your Own Adventure

 "Emotions are a choose your own adventure book."- Mason, 3rd grade

This quote from my friend Mason came after a discussion on emotions. I shared that emotions are right or wrong. Emotion are good or bad. They exist for a purpose. We can choose to learn the purpose and grow or we can get stuck in the emotion. I also shared with him that it is how we handle our emotions that matter. We can choose to learn how to handle our emotions or we can choose to let our emotions run wildly with of control.

Mason took time to take it all in and think about what this meant to him. He then shared that it was like reading a choose your own adventure book. No path in the book is wrong, but you usually enjoy one ending more than another.

I love this! I asked him if I could quote him and use this with others. He gave me full permission to share. He even asks from time to time if I have shared it yet. Please, after reading this blog let Mason know what you think of his emotions quote. It will be just the boost of confidence he might need that day.

Awhile back on my social media I shared someone else's thoughts on emotions. This one is more on the silly side. 

 Listen to this guy share a little more about Emotion Farts

I love how we can look at emotions and learn from them. We can get creative when we talk to our students about their emotions. We need to be brave and dive into emotions with our students. And with ourselves. Maybe this blog is for you. Maybe you are struggling with accepting an emotion. Maybe you have yet to figure out the healthiest way to let out an emotion. 

Gottman is here to help us again this week. This graphic helps us break down a mindful way to accept, process, learn about and learn from an emotion; as well as learning to let go of what does not serve our greater mental wellbeing.

We can use Gottman's 6 steps, Emotional Fart wisdom, and the amazing insight of Mason to help us create a mindfulness around emotions.

I encourage you to take time this December (and all year through) to sit with an emotion. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, hold, and slowly let go. 

Feel where in your body the emotion is taking up residence. Are you feeling tension in your neck, shoulders, or back? Do you eyes hurt? Are you sensitive to sound? Is it hard to breathe? Are you clenching your jaw? 

Label the emotion. In psychology this is call "Name It to Tame It." 

Accept that this emotion is real and necessary. It has a purpose. 

Investigate. Explore. Understand. When did this emotion start? What brought it about (triggered it)? 

Do you need to let this emotion go? Is it teaching you something? 

Let it go (if needed) and always let it out(in a healthy way)... but remember our lessons. You might not like the ending of your adventure if you choose to let the emotion go in an unhealthy way. It might get messy if you let a feeling out too aggressively. 

Practice your emotion mindfulness. Enjoy the adventure.  

What is Bully, Really!

  October is bullying awareness and prevention month.

This month at school we take time to talk with students about what is and isn't bullying. We share how to address bullying and ways to prevent it.

To help our students understand bullying, we need to first understand bullying. 

The words Bully and Bullying are extremely over used. We cannot call all behavior bullying. We cannot call mean students bullies. This belittles true bullying situations. It also sets up  students with the misperception on what is going on.

I strongly taking less than 30 minutes and listen to the podcast I have linked below.

Raising Good Humans

I hope that you are always checking in with your student. But remember to follow the podcast and help your student understand what is and isn't bullying.

Glimmers

 Glimmer. The word alone brings a feeling of magic, wonder, beauty, and light to mind. When something glimmers it shines and sparkles. A glimmer is not dark, but rather it is a light. A spark of a shimmer. A micro moment of light.

The term Glimmer was coined in reference to mental health in Deb Dana's 2018 book regarding the use of the Polyvagal Theory in trauma therapy. More recently in February 2022, Dr. Justine Grosso popularized the term with  the use of a TikTok video.  

What is a glimmer? How can glimmers help us in the school setting? What can finding glimmers do for you?

A Glimmer is a Micro Moment of Joy and Safety. A Glimmer is the opposite of a Tigger.

When we talk about behavior of students we often ask "what triggered the behavior?" A trigger is a response to trauma. A trigger puts our bodies in Fight or Flight.

To fully understand a glimmer we first need to look fully at a trigger and the Polyvagal Theory. 

In 1995 Stephen Porges, an American Psychologist and Neuroscientist researched and wrote on his new theory, The Polyvagal Theory. This theory states that our autonomic nervous system is always searching for cues to determine danger or safety. The concept of our body scanning for these cues is called, neuroception. Neuroception involves our Vagus, also called Vagal Nerve.

The word Vagus is Latin for wandering. This nerve is named this due to the extend that it runs or 'wanders' through our body. The Vagus Nerve exits our Medulla Oblongata in our lower brainstem and travels down our neck and chest, through our heart and lungs and into our abdomen and digestive tract. 

The Vagus Nerve makes up 75% of our Parasympathetic Nervous System. If you think back to some previous blogs you will remember why this is important to us and mindfulness. When we take a deep breath in and release it slowly out for a longer time than taken in we engage our parasympathetic nervous system. This system is also called our "rest and digest" system. This puts our bodies in a state of homeostasis. It calms us.

The Vegus Nerve is responsible for; digestion, immune response, heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, mood, and many other functions in our body. 

When we experience a Trigger our Amygdala places our body in the Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, or Faint state of being. We need Glimmers to help us find a way out.

A Glimmer, as we have learned, is a cue, both internal and external, which leads us toward the feelings of ; joy, happiness, peace, love, and safety.

Glimmers help us regulate our stimulated and overwhelmed nervous system.

How do we know we have found our glimmer? We feel it. We experience a sense of calm and safety. We feel comfort and ease. We experience peace and joy. We know we are safe.

We should all take time each day to find a glimmer. Below are a list of possible glimmers. Remember they are meant to be micro moments. They are small moments of joy.

* Feeling the warmth of the sun on your face

* The cool feeling and smell of salty sea air

* The smell of fresh cut grass

* Spotting a Rainbow... or better yet, a double rainbow

* Seeing the sun sparkle on water

* The scent of lavender or other calming scents

* Petting a dog or cat

* Being in nature

* A smile from someone as you pass them by

* The perfect cup of coffee

* Holding and rocking a baby

* Smell of fresh baked bread

* Snuggling a soft blanket

* Humming a favorite tune

* Dancing to a favorite song

* Finding a new hobby

* Being creative

* Lunch dates with friends

* Brunch with a loved one

Finding glimmers helps us set our bodies in a state of safety and calm. Sharing our glimmers with others helps promote connection. 

Glimmers help reduce emotional distress and help us be more in the learning zone. 

Gratitude and Optimism

  "With gratitude optimism is sustainable." -Michael J Fox

                                          

Have you been lacking optimism lately? The end of the school year can drag. Testing can be challenging. You can lose your positive outlook on school, students, or even life. 

Thankfully we have a great way to help us reorganize our thinking. Gratitude Mindfulness.

In case reading his words didn't hit you with profound introspection, listen here - Find Something To Be Grateful For

This is a lesson we all need to learn and then pass along to our students. We have the ability to dig deep into gratitude and embody it daily. All it takes is a gratitude mindfulness practice.

I have shared about this mindfulness in the past, but it is always worth revisiting to remind us to reframe and refocus our thinking.

In a 2003 article Psychology Today shared information regarding our brains, the negative bias, and what it takes to create space for the positive.

The article started by sharing a study conducted by John Cacioppo, PhD. While Cacioppo was at Ohio State he conducted a study in which participants were shown positive pictures and negative pictures. The brain was watched during this time to see neurological reactions. 

This study concluded that our brains show a greater surge of electrical activity and a stronger response toward what is perceived as negative. From this information it was also observed that the negative more heavily influenced attitudes of participants. 

Let's take a moment to think about what this means in a home.

When something negative occurs brains are more readily attentive and reactive. Our children see others acting out, hear adults yelling, and thus their brains are on the negative path....and so is their attitude.

The Psychology Today article goes on to talk about multiple studies replicating the findings of Cacioppo. It has been discovered that what we need is to find that atmosphere needed between the negative and positive to help rewire the brain toward the positive. We need to find the balance. Our brains were hardwired toward the negative for survival purposes. We cannot undo this, but we can help change some wiring to see more positive.

In a study on marriage and sustainability, researchers found what they now call the magic ratio. If the magic ratio is utilized in a relationship, the relationship has a higher survival rate. The magic ratio is 5-1. 

We need 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction. 

Other studies looked at the magic ratio outside of a romantic relationship and found that the 5-1 continues to be what our brains need to find the right atmosphere between negative and positive.

Think about what this might mean with our homes. 

What might it look like if you made sure you followed up with 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction with this student?

We can use a Gratitude Mindfulness to help us with rewiring our own brains to see the positive. We can then use the magic ratio to create the atmosphere needed to help positivity thrive. 

A basic gratitude mindfulness practice asks us to notice at least 3 good things each day. Once we notice them, affirm them. Say them out loud or write them down. Finally, savor at least one. Pick one and think about all the senses involved in this gratitude. Think about what made this your gratitude. Savor the moment, place, or person.

Many gratitude practices will tell you to end each night with your gratitude. I personally start each morning with mine. I write out my gratitude as I sit alone in my dinning room sipping my morning coffee. Before anyone else is awake I savor the positives from the previous day and I think about the good that is to come. I like to rewire my brain for the positive before I enter school. I prepare my brain to be ready to see the good in our students. 

Can you practice a gratitude mindfulness today?

Can you practice the magic ratio?

Will your gratitude grow your optimism?