Invite calm into your home

 Mindful parenting can be challenging. When a child's behavior challenges our calm we are no longer in the present without judgement. We are judging the behavior and in the future with a consequence.

Mindful parenting can be done. We need only take time and practice.

The link below is a great resource to help you get started on mindful parenting.

Mindful Parenting

As I read and took notes I connected with the idea that transitions are not the in-between time, but its own time. This got me thinking of life's transitions. Infancy to Toddler. Toddler to Preschool. Preschool to Elementary. Elementary to Middle school....and this is the challenge. 

If you haven't hit the transition to middle school yet, hold on tight and start preparing now. If you are there, take a deep breath we are here to support you. If you've been there, you know.

One of my favorite quotes is:

Taking One Minute

 Today I was reminded of a mindfulness practice that I often forget to utilize.

Savoring.

Savoring is taking a gratitude and extending it. Really think back and be specific. What was happened during the time in which you were grateful? What were the sights? What were the smells? What did you see? How did you feel?

You can also use savoring for in the moment gratitude, not only reflective gratitude.

While you are experiencing something wonderful, take a moment to remember the moment. Take it in with all of your senses. Live in the moment fully.

As an adult caring for children it is hard to find these kind of times. When you are running kids to soccer, school, football, dance, book club, etc, you aren't often grateful for the opportunity to use up gas and time. When you are spending an hour or more making a meal that you know will be inhaled in less than 10 minutes, it's challenging to savor the moment.

After everything you have to do and accomplish take a minute. Even just one. Take a minute and take a deep breath. Savor the minute of breathing. Fully feel and brace the breath. Be thankful for the breath. Savor the moment.

Adulting is hard. Children are challenging. You deserve and need a minute. Take one.

Resilience

 Resilience, Harvard Center for Developing Children: The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.

Resilience: the compacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

Returning to school after a break can be a challenge. To help your student build resilience consider taking some time to practice mindfulness at home.

As a school we encourage and utilize mindfulness daily. We have a program called Inner Explorer that teachers are encouraged to use. Mindfulness is a great way to help build resilience. 

Mindfulness is defined as; paying attention (to the present moment), on purpose, without judgement. 

The practice of mindfulness helps create focus, calm, and resilience.

Please reach out with any questions, concerns, or if you would like help connecting with our school mindfulness program. 55.pmckenzie@nhaschools.com 

Having A Mindful Summer

Are you ready for a summer of mindfulness? It will help calm your student and help create a peaceful home.

Mindfulness can help your student learn to resolve conflict, take time to calm and focus, appreciate and show gratitude toward others, and get ready to improve grades for the next school year.

Summer never seems long enough...for school staff and students. Don't forget to take time to set up good routine. Including sleep. That is a challenge when kids do not have school. But keeping to a routine helps create balance, calm minds and bodies, and promotes health and wellness. It also gives you time to relax kid free!

Mindfulness doesn't have to end with the school year. The program we use at Fortis, Inner Explorer, has an at home app for free! You can also reach out to me for a link to our school program. Inner Explorer is setting up a summer of mindfulness series. Give your student the gift of focus, calm, and readiness for the next school year.

Have a great summer. See you in the fall for more mindfulness!

RAIN of Self- Compassion

 

During our moral focus month of compassion this quote above is a great self-reflection as a parent. I know I find times I have to remind myself that I must be the calm in my child's chaos. I need to be the safe harbor in the storm. Do not be the wind ranging but be the lighthouse, steady and calling them to where safety lies.

Mindfulness is a great way to practice self-compassion and help create the space for compassion to a child who seems to have no sense of calm.

We are the teachers. We are the books. We are the lesson they watch and mimic, for better or worse.

A great mindfulness practice for self-compassion is called RAIN

Tara Brach created the RAIN of Self-Compassion mindful meditation. 

Take some time to explore RAIN and show yourself some compassion. The more we learn to give ourselves understanding the better equipped we are to show compassion and understanding to others. 

Pack your Mindfulness Parachute

 February flew by and for as short as it was, it was packed. I am sorry that I missed posting last month. I will make it a personal goal to post more this month.

I want to share with you something that I shared with the staff this week.

The idea of packing your mindfulness parachute. 

Opening our minds to the practice of mindfulness can be as life saving as opening a parachute. 

Our minds, emotions, and bodies need the safety of a well packed parachute and a working ripcord. 

What does it mean to pack your mindfulness parachute? It's really easy.

-Pick a specific reoccurring time each day and set it aside for mindfulness. 

-Create a space that is calm, quiet, and allows for focus on mindfulness.

-Journal your journey. Follow up with yourself before and after mindfulness and track your progress.

-Have others check in with you on the progress. A second set of eyes can give a new perspective. 

-Keep at it.

This month we are having a classroom mindfulness challenge. We are asking teachers to utilize Inner Explorer daily to help build a routine of mindfulness. You too can use the program at home. There is a free app called Inner Explorer @ Home

Good luck and let me know how the journey begins and keeps going.

Extending Gratitude

 As we continue walking through the new year, let's continue to look at our bite-size mindfulness.

This week is extending last week's gratitude mindfulness. 

Our challenge is to extend gratitude to others, especially our children.

As you consider this mindfulness I want you to be open to the task. It is easy to make a list and state "I am grateful for my family" but it is another thing to then express that to your family. As a parent I know that there are some days it is difficult to extend gratitude to children. But they need it.

On The Child Mind Institute website we are presented with helpful tips on growing gratitude in children. The first tip is to set the example.

When we think about setting the example we first consider just being a grateful person and saying please and thank you to other adults. This is a simple task compared to looking at a child and genuinely expressing gratitude. Saying "Thank you for having a great day at school" "Thank you for being kind to your sibling", even saying thank you for chores that are expected of them. 

In my research on this topic I was presented with an idea that I did not agree with but understand the concept. I want to take the concept and change it up a little and make it better.

On the website Fatherly.com an article discussed the topic of building up grateful children. The author of the article stated that sometimes it's ok for children to "fake gratitude." When explained the author posed the scenario where a child receives a gift from grandma and it was a gift the child did not like. The author states that the child should say thank you and pretend to be grateful. I get it. But I want to look at it a different way.

Let's teach our children to be grateful for the time, thought, and money spent. Let's talk with our children about be grateful for having the grandmother try. Or simply being grateful for having a grandmother. 

Teaching our children to think of more parts than the present itself opens the child to a bigger world than themselves.

When we simply focus on the gift and a fake gratitude we teach the children that the gift was all that mattered. Teach them that the person giving it matters. That person's time matters. That person's money matters. And our genuine heart of gratitude matters.

When we practice gratitude as a mindful moment we take more time to be present in the gratitude and not simply being grateful for show.

Taking time to grow gratitude in children means mindfully living gratitude in our own lives.