Mood Identification

 "If we can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health."-Fred Rogers

For some of us Mr. Rogers and his neighbor taught us a lot about how to treat ourselves and others while entertaining us too. If I was home sick from school Mr. Rogers is what I would request to watch. This last week I started to take an online college course and the quote from Fred Rogers was in the class notes. It really stuck a cord with me and set me to thinking about how we teach our students about feelings.

I recently started reading the book Maybe You Should Take to Someone, by psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb and she also talks about the topic of how we address feelings. She states that often times women have the advantage over men when it comes to talking about feelings. She states that this is due to the fact that young girls are taught that it is alright to feel while young boys are often taught to be tough. 

Today, as we learn more and more about the human brain, we learn that we need to teach our children how to talk about feelings. There is a saying in psychotherapy "you have to name it to tame it." Simply put, if you want to understand and better handle an emotion, you need to know the name of the emotion you are feeling.

In his book, Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett a professor at Yale, introduces us to the Mood Meter. This graphic is a great way to start introducing feelings and talking about which we are experiencing. 

The X axis is the Pleasantness of the feeling and the Y axis is the Energy of the feeling. When we are low on pleasant and low on energy we are in the blue zone feeling; tired, bored, lonely, glum, etc. As we move up in energy but remain low in pleasantness we begin to experience; livid, angry, annoyed, peeved, etc. We can notice that once our pleasant feelings increase we enter the yellow and the green, depending on our energy.

The more we explore this graphic, the more we can name a feeling. Once we name a feeling we can decided to either sit with the feeling or shift the feeling.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept emotions as valid and real; no matter what zone they may be in at the moment. Practicing noticing feelings also shows us that feelings do not define us or our day; but rather can be seen as as plot point on our day. 

After we look at the mood meter we can ask ourselves "Is this emotion I am feeling helping me?" This question can help you see if you should sit with the feeling (usually those in green and yellow) or shift the feeling (usually those in red and blue). 

When helping your own student learn how to identify and talking about feelings take some time to show courage and identify your own. Remember studies show us that humans respond to the emotions of others. This means that if you are angry, you will speak from a place of anger, and thus your student will in turn experience anger and relate back to you in anger. 

Give the Mood Meter a try this week. Talk about feelings and validate them. The are real and present. Share your feelings with your student and allow them to share their feelings with you.

Mindfully Managing Fear to Find Courage

When we think about courage we often associate the word with; strength, fearlessness, and being tough. Sometimes courage looks like none of these things. Sometimes courage is that small voice telling you to keep trying one more time.

Mindfulness is a great way to cultivate a life of courage. Helping your student seek out courage can be as simple as taking some time to sit with them and teaching them to know and understand their own feelings.

Getting to know ourselves on a deep and honest level can take the very most courage we have. Avoiding feelings, avoiding challenges, avoiding understanding; all of this can be must easier than exploring the feelings, challenges, and things we need to understand. 

Mindful courage can sometimes simply look like saying "yes, I am afraid."

A couple of weeks back I was working with a couple of kindergarten friends and asking them about fear. I was helping them think about how mindfulness can help them overcome fear. The young boys told me that they were not afraid of anything. They said that they were strong and brave.

I talked with the boys about fear and how it can help us grow and help others. When we see our fears as as an opportunity to grow we can help others do the same.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept a feeling, as is, don't change it, don't deny it. Feel it. Accept it. Understand it.

As I continued to work with the boys they were able to share about times that the dark scared them. We explored taking deep breaths, asking for help, listening to surrounds to understand the darkness and being brave. 

The boys were able to be brave and share a fear and then be even braver and share how they would use mindfulness to calm their fear and work through it.

We can use our 90 second rule to feel our fear and then let it go and utilize courage. Courage is about finding our inner strength and accepting the feelings. 

Kindness Matters

 When it is cold outside it is easy to become grumpy and find yourself snapping out responses to others. Being negative is easy, being kind takes work. But it is work worth doing, and doing well.

I love listening to podcasts filled with experts sharing knowledge from their field. My favorite being the field of psychology. We can learn so much about ourselves and others when we explore our minds, how they work, and how that translates into how we behave. 

Over the weekend I was introduced to Professor Jamil Zaki. He is a psychology professor at Stanford University. He is also the author of the book; The War for Kindness. 

In his book and as a professor Jamil talks with us about kindness and empathy and how these actions and traits can make us better people and help us help others to be better as well. In his book Jamil shares that children who regularly see empathy in their environment will show more empathy. When we practice kindness and empathy we teach others with our actions how to be kinder.

Jamil also talks about one of my favorite mindful meditations; Metta Loving-Kindness. This mindful meditation asks us to first send love and warm wishes to ourselves, then send this kindness to those we love and care for, and then end with sending warm wishes and kind thoughts to those who challenge us/those we don't get along with/ those we just don't like. This kind of mindfulness can be challenging, but when done daily it can help increase empathy and kindness. (There are also benefits for physical and mental health! Check out this website for more information. Science behind Metta Loving-Kindness Mindful Meditation)

As we close out the month of Perseverance and look forward to the month of Courage I want to take some time to challenge us to be kinder and help our students, your children, be kinder. Let's show courage and practice empathy.

On his website, Jamil shares a one week challenge, asking us to join his Empathy Gym, and work toward being kinder and showing more empathy.

This link Kindness Challenge will take you to Jamil's web page which focuses on his Empathy Gym. Jamil has five videos and asks us to take five days this week to be kinder and show more empathy.

Here are the 5 Challenges:

1. Empathy toward Yourself --- this is where we start with the Metta Loving-Kindness mindful meditation. Jamil talks about the golden rule and turning it inward. Sometime we cannot treat others how we would want to be treated when we don't start with treating ourselves well. We need to show our children that loving ourselves matters. Being kinder to ourselves matters. Take one day this week to be kinder to yourself. Let this be visible to others.

2. Spend on someone else. --- Taking time out of our day to use our resources to contribute to the positive well-being of another person. This means that take time to spend time, money, or energy on another person. When we begin to take care of another person we are building our ability to understand what others are going through and learn to share in their needs at that moment.

3.Disagree better--- This one can be a challenge. As I look at this challenge and begin to think about how I plan to work on it this week, this is the number that stops me. I don't really know where to start. I am nervous about having this disagreement with someone. Jamil shares that this act of empathy helps us better understand another person's point of view while also working on how to more effectively formulate and present our opinions. Here were are asked to find someone we disagree with and have a productive discussion with them. 

4.Kind-tech.... If ever there were a time to use technology to be kinder, it is now. All you have to do is open up one type of social media to find negativity and unkindness. It isn't just our youth that struggle with kindness online. Adults are great at leaving nasty comments when they disagree with another person. Jamil talks about technology having the potential to be one of our greatest sources of empathy and yet we have turned it into a monster filled with hurt that then destroys happiness.  Now we are asked and encourage to reach out and send kindness online. Or even post something personal, vulnerable, and open; allowing others to be able to reach out kindness toward you. 

5. Encouraging a culture of kindness... In the final challenge we are asked to recognize and acknowledge the empathy in others. Let someone know you see their kindness and you appreciate this trait and effort. Challenge others to show empathy. It doesn't have to be complicated. You can direct them to Jamil's website, this blog, or simply share kindness and ask them to pay it forward.

Yesterday I made brownies for my family. I told them in order to eat them they were required to do one act of kindness for another person. They thought I was joking. My husband looked at me in a way that let me know he thought I had gone crazy. My 14-year-old stopped dead in his tracks, confused. My nine-year-old is always helping the baby, this was easy for her. And my sweet two-year-old will say "bless you" when you sneeze, tell you "be careful" if she thinks you need support and runs up and give the best hugs saying "I miss you". She has kindness mastered. My kind act was making the brownies 😉 My husband did some dishes and made breakfast and even the 14-year-old figured out what to do. He asked if I needed him to start the dishwasher. 

Kindness matters. Psychologist Adam Grant states that he asks his children at the end of a school day, not "how are your grades?" but "who did you help?" 

Kindness matters.

I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to work on empathy and kindness. Then once you start, ask your child/children to join in. Let's start this year filled with Loving-Kindness and Empathy.

Movement and the Mind

 Happy Monday and Welcome Back.

Last week I started a Yoga and Mindfulness Challenge with students. ALO Yoga and Mindfulness, a yoga program you can find on YouTube or in the link I have included has a 12 week program for students. If we follow this program it takes us from last week when we started back to school all the way to the week before spring break. What a wonderful journey this can be for our minds and bodies!

Mindfulness and Yoga Challenge

The students shared that this site does not work on their school devises. Don't worry, you can find it all on YouTube as well. Just search for ALO Yoga for Kids. Below is a link to an introductory video which shares about this program.

ALO Yoga and Mindfulness

This week I wanted to take some time to talk about movement and the benefits it has on our minds and bodies. More and more research is coming out stating that the more we move the happier we are. The research is also showing that the more we move the better our brains overall health can become. Some studies suggest that moving, more than crossword (or other brain teaser puzzles) , can help our brains stay healthier and stave off deterioration. 

In Eric Jensen's book Teaching with the brain in mind, he talks in the 4th chapter about  movement and learning. He shares that physical education helps strengthen many parts of the brain and increase the baseline of new neuron growth. Jensen sights the Kempermann 2002 study which shares that this neurogenesis is linked to increased cognition, better memory, and reduced likelihood of depression. 

Yoga is a great way to get our bodies moving and continue our mindful breathing. As we learn to stretch our bodies we are also learning focus and concentration. Yoga helps us slow our bodies, breathe deep, and focus on the present. These are all skills that can be utilized when learning. 

If you are interested in following the ALO Yoga and Mindfulness it will be about 5 minutes of your time each day. Jump in and become active with your student. When we, as adults, practice with students we show them it is important to us and we care enough to work alongside them.

The 90 Second Rule (as it is called at times.)

 Welcome to 2021. 

For many a new year provides a sense of a new hope, a new change, and often a new resolution. Research has shown that around 50% of adults will make a new years resolution, but only about 10% will keep it.

Setting a resolution and keeping it can be a challenge. For me smaller daily goals is a more attainable way to change my habits for the better. 

Over the break while engaging in my own personal mindfulness I was introduced to a topic that really intrigued and resonated with me. A topic that spurred me to do research and set a goal for myself regarding how I experience my emotions.  

Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor a neuroscientist at Harvard, in her book My Stroke of Insight, talks about the concept that emotions only have a 90 second life span. She goes on to explain that after 90 seconds the chemical components dissipate from our blood and the automatic response of an emotion ends. For most this is not the end to experiencing the emotion. The reason for the continuation is due to the choices we make. If we let the emotion continue the neuro circuit the emotion created in your brain will continue to run. This is called, rumination. Rumination is defined as the endless loop of thoughts that keep feelings alive in the body.

We could spend a lot of time reviewing the ins and outs of this concept. It is fascinating and helpful to understand. But to make it the most understandable and relatable I want to focus on how to experience our feelings and let them go so that we may continue our mindfulness journey for ourselves and our students.

Researchers have discovered key components to  how we can learn to feel an emotion for it's lifespan and then let it go. The most effective, mindfulness.

Mindfulness teaches us a way to witness our emotions without becoming entangled in the emotion. Mindfulness helps us evaluate our body's responses to help us evaluate if we are having a physiological experience or a psychological experience. 

Evolutionarily, in order to survive, our ancestors needed their brains to have a strong connection to negative emotions. Due to this our brains continue to be wired to hold on to and react more quickly to negative emotions and experiences. We have to work to create positive neuro pathways. The more we allow our bodies to feel a feeling, the more neuro pathways we cerate to that feeling, and the easier it is to feel and respond to that feeling.

If we continue to allow negative feelings to dominate we will experience them more often due to the neuro pathways.

If we utilize mindfulness we can work to create new neuro pathways to serene, peaceful, happy, and calm feelings. 

As our society has become more and more dependent on technology, our children have been experiencing more symptoms of depression, anxiety, and isolation (especially with the pandemic). 

Teaching mindfulness is a way to help our children learn to witness their emotions, correctly identify what they are and where they are coming from, and then how to let them live for 90 seconds and let them go.

Help your student start the new year with a daily goal to take 5-10 minutes each day to focus on deep breathing, noticing emotions and their body's responses, and how they respond to the emotions. Encourage them to keep a journal and write down their findings; this will help them identify triggers to negative emotions and reactions to emotions. 

Lastly, encourage some time outside; weather permitting. Researchers out of Stanford have found that spending time in nature reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety and helps us quiet the noise outside to helps us better listen to the sounds inside. We can calm our bodies and brains and gain better insight into our feelings and emotions.

  

"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." 

                                            Upper Peninsula, Michigan  

Adult Guild To Mindful Survival of a School Break

 School Breaks. Kids love them, adults stress about them (sometimes).

Unstructured time at home. Adults perhaps still working. Right now students are learning online and then over break they want to live online with games. 

How much screen time is OK? What else can a kid do when it's cold outside and they are at home?

This week I want to take some time to give you some mindfulness ideas for your break....and share a little research information regarding positive habits for kids.

Let's start with bedtime. This can be a hot button topic for some families. We all see bedtime differently. Some feel letting children stay up late is fine as long as they wake up and get going in the morning. Others want to keep a routine no matter what is going on with the next day's schedule. 

Research tells us that everyone should follow a similar bedtime routine no matter the day of the week and no matter the events of the next day. Children need more sleep than adults. Women need more sleep than men. And we all should go to sleep within an hour of the same time nightly and wake up within a hour of the same time daily. I know I like to sleep in ( when my 2-year-old lets me...which means 7:00am instead of 6:00am...oh well) but research tells us to only "sleep in" a little.

Below are a couple of charts to help get us all thinking about bedtime and routines.

Sleep is vital to our health. Recent studies suggest that good, long, deep sleep helps keep us heart healthy. Sleep is when our brains process short term memories and create long term memories (when that studying a student just completed becomes concrete knowledge). Sleep is when bodies grow, heal, and repair. Sleep helps our mental health stay positive and boosts moods. Sleep helps us survive.

It might be two weeks off of school but it doesn't have to be two weeks off of a routine. Don't feel guilty if you want to send your child to bed "early" during break. You're helping them stay healthy!

The next important thing to remember is a food routine. Remind your student that just because they are home not doing school work doesn't mean they can just sit and eat all day. Food plan for them. Create a list of healthy snacks they can choose from for a morning snack. Give them one fun snack. Provide options for balanced meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). No is a powerful word. Don't be afraid to use it with food. Helping your child create a healthy eating routine now will provide them support as they grow.

In the last blog we talked about SAD and what that means for Michiganders. With no school and a pandemic, your student might be feeling isolated and lonely. Time to get creative. It is ok to allow screen time. Set up some screen playdates with friends and family. Set up facetime, google duo, or another video calling platform to provide time to connect with others. 

The key to screen time is limiting the amount of time, setting limits. 

Remember we all need movement. We should be getting an hour or more of exercise a day. This means we need to move, get our heart pumping, and work out for at least an hour a day. 

Create a recess time for your kids. If the weather isn't bad encourage them to play outside. Make sure to check the temperature and recommended length of time outside based on temperature. Children can safely play outside in the cold, just bundle up and watch the time! Below is a handy chart for cold and hot weather.

Here is a link to a great article by a doctor, helping us determine length of time to stay safe outside in cold weather and hot weather. Safe to Play Outside

Finally, lets talk about reading and mindfulness. It might be a two week break from school, but we should never take a break from learning and mindfulness.

Setting a reading time requirement for your student will help them stay in "school mode" and have less of a struggle returning to school after the break. Below is a chart that shows words read based on how many days a week a student reads. Maybe you are reading to them, with them, or having them read independently; all ways are great and help. Reading doesn't (shouldn't) stop when school does. The more we all read, the more we grow our knowledge. 

After the word gap chart is another chart that talk about summer reading. While this break is much shorter, students can still have loss or set backs if they are not reading.

Don't forget mindfulness!

This is something that can easily be added to your students' day. Every morning when I meet with students I ask them for a goal and a gratitude. These are both parts of mindfulness. Having a goal set specifically for the day helps ground us in the day and gets us to focus on the here and now. Working on a plan to accomplish the goal helps create focus and attention, more parts of mindfulness. And gratitude. This is a great mindfulness practice to help boost mood and reduce winter blues. 

There is a mindfulness activity called Loving-Kindness. This is when you send warm wishes to yourself, those you care about, and those you struggle with too. 

Spending five minutes a morning to write out three gratitudes and send one loving-kindness thought can start the day with a positive mood and outlook. 

Guided Loving Kindness Meditation for Kids

I hope that this blog helps give you some ideas for the break and helping you keep your sanity while your student enjoys not doing work!

Helping Our Student with SAD

 It is likely that at some point in your life you have heard the acronym S.A.D. SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder.

SAD is a condition that often occurs in the winter months, when we see fewer days of sunlight and spend more time indoors.

Here is Michigan we have the added concern that, according to the Farmers Almanac, Michigan is the 7th cloudiest state in the United States. Michigan annually sees only about 170 sunny days a year. Of those 170 days, Farmers Almanac states that only about 65-75 of those days will be clear and sunny.

The sun is a great source of light which helps us balance chemicals inside our bodies, chemicals responsible for helping us maintain stable and positive moods.

The Mayo Clinic report that during the winter months, with the reduction in sunlight we often see changes in our biological clocks, reduced serotonin levels, and reduced levels of melatonin. Melatonin is the chemical which aids with our sleep cycle; sleep is key to reducing stress, anxiety, and helping to refresh and ready us for the next day. Serotonin is our brain's mood chemical; this chemical sends messages in our brains which helps us regulate and stabilize our moods.

With all of the internal changes to our systems comes a change in behaviors and moods. Someone experiencing SAD can see: social withdrawal, school problems, anxiety, eat disorders, and even suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

It can be challenging, as an adult, to handle our feelings and emotions. It is especially challenging for our youth. Our brains Prefrontal Cortex is not completely developed until around the age of 23-25. This part of the brain is responsible for reasoning our behaviors and making rational choices. We can help our students begin to train and grow this part of their brain. As we do this, we help them learn ways to cope with challenges such as, SAD.

One of the key ways to aid our students is to support them in their mindfulness and well-being.

Recent studies have shown that Exercise, more than even medication, is the best way to aid with mood. A daily exercise routine can help create a long-lasting positive affect on your mood.

Mindfulness, which means to be fully present in the here and now, helps us be more aware of our needs and how to meet them. A great mindfulness activity is a daily mood check in. Asking our students how they are feeling at the start of the day. Then ask them to set a positive goal (like was discussed in the previous post). And remembering to include asking them for a gratitude.

Our well-being can be lifted and supported with a daily gratitude practice. Once we start to help our students state one daily gratitude it is important to expand this practice and help them work on telling others they are grateful for them. Doing something kind for another person has been proven to boost our moods for months at a time (just from one kind act and one extended gratitude!).

Another way we can address well-being is to make sure to eat well. We are more likely to make health eating and life choices if we have a bowl of fruit sitting on our counters. 

Remember, the behavior team at school; myself (behavior specialist) and the social workers; have set up many social groups on google meet. Ask your students to explore the Mindfulness Google Classroom. They will find mindfulness activities along with posts on times for meets to socialize. 

I hope that this post has helped you to look at mindfulness in a new way. In a way that can help your student and you work on combatting SAD and attending to your positive well-being.