HALT

Last week while listening to a podcast I was reminded of an acronym that helps with checking in. It is something that I do nearly daily with students.

 H.A.L.T.  

When you are over whelmed and you don't know why... H.A.L.T. 

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

These are the questions that I find are my go-to with students engaging in an early morning struggle. Here at school we can help feed a hungry student. We can help identify the source of anger and build skills to improve how it might be handled. We can also help students connect with each other and build relationships when they are feelings lonely.

Tired. 

This last one is a challenge and we can help but that means a student misses out on learning opportunities if we provide time and space for sleep. 

School-aged children are reported to need 9-11 hours of sleep. The younger the student the more sleep they need. One study out of Michigan State University found that those who are sleep deprived more likely to make mistakes and do poorly in school. Often times when we hear "sleep deprived" we imagine someone getting 1-2 hours of sleep at night. This is not the case. Studies show that when we lose about two hours of recommended hours of sleep we are sleep deprived. That means sleep deprivation will set in for a child who needs 11 hours of sleep but only gets 9.

Below is a chart that can help you gage a good bedtime for students. 

An example from the chart is a 7 year old who needs to wake up by 6:30am would benefit from being in bed by 7:30pm. 

Starting a sleep routine as we come back after spring break may help your student make great strides towards a better end to the school year. 

Express yourself with I-Statements

 

Often times our students are upset and find themselves expressing their emotions in negative ways. When a student is upset with a teacher redirecting them, they may challenge the adult. In times such as this I talk with students about challenging the choice not the person. There is a respectful way for our students to express confusion or even dissatisfaction with a consequence provided by an adult.

This week a couple of young men spent time working on I-Statements to help better express themselves.

I-Statements can help students (and adults) learn how to express a feeling regarding a situation. An I-statement is an expression of feelings rather than a statement of blame, accusations, or defiant disrespect.

One of the young men shared that his teacher will punish him for talking and not address anyone else who is talking. I explored with him how he talked to his teacher regarding this situation. He reported that he made a defensive and accusatory statement such as; "why are you calling me out, I wasn't even talking it was someone else?"

I took time to help this student reframe his frustration into an I-statement. We worked on saying "I feel upset when you call me out for talking because I feel like I am the only one addressed for talking." 

After using an I-statement the discussion can be opened up to needs of the student and needs of the teacher. 

Using I-Statements expresses a feeling and does not challenge. 

Helping our students express feelings when they are frustrated can help build communication skills, relationships, and a better understanding of themselves. Using an I-Statement means that students have to first take time to identify how they are feeling and why. This is building emotional intelligence.  

I encourage you to take some time and practice I-Statements at home. Help your student learn to express a feeling not point blame. Start using I-Statements with your students, be the example and show them how to communicate with respect and love. The more we lead by example the more our students are willing to try.

Let's work together to use I-Statements, build emotional intelligence, and increase positive communication. 

Character Strengths

 What animal do you connect with or feel represents you best?

What animal would you pick for your student? What animal would they pick for themselves?

Some call this our "Spirit Animal". 

Who is a hero in your life?

Who is a hero to your student?

When we begin to explore who we are and who our children are and are becoming it is good to take some time to really connect with ourselves and our children. 

Positive Psychologist, Martin Seligman has spent a good portion of his career focused on the character of people and how the positive aspects of character can help build a better well-being.

Dr. Seligman, with the help of others on his team, has created what is called the Virtues in Action survey which can help us evaluate our character and find our strengths. The VIA is free to take and can help you see where you are the strongest. There is also a survey for students, so they too can see their strengths.

Research suggests that if we use our top 5 strengths in our daily lives we will be happier and healthier. 

VIA Survey

I would encourage you to take the survey and then help your student take the survey as well. After you have taken the survey see what your top five strengths are and how they are alike or different from your student. Have a discussion of strengths and how you can better use them in school, work, and life.

This is a great mindfulness activity to learn to be aware of yourself and others. This helps put in you the present and prepare for the future.