Gratitude Mindfulness

 Welcome to our look into gratitude.

Gratitude is a great mindfulness which can boost your mood and the moods of others. Studies show us that when we practice making a list of gratitude (3-5) we have high levels of happiness and lower levels of depression. When we then take time to share the gratitude with others, we boost their mood and again boost ours even more.

When I meet with students on Google Meet, I ask every morning for a gratitude. Sadly, what I often hear is "I don't have one." I want to ask "how can you not?" Instead I take time to share my gratitude, reflect on what might be important in life, and give ideas of gratitude.

Below is a lost of gratitude prompts:

Gratitude Prompts

1.     About yourself

2.     Something beautiful

3.     Military

4.     A song

5.     An accomplishment

6.     Something you’ve created

7.     A friend

8.     A smell

9.     A touch

10.  A taste

11.  A sight

12.  A sound

13.  What makes you smile

14.  Favorite season

15.  Something you like about Summer

16.  Something you like about Spring

17.  Something you like about Winter

18.  Something you like about Fall

19.  A holiday

20.  A time of day

21.  A country

22.  A state

23.  A city

24.  Any place

25.  About where you live

26.  A favorite food

27.  A favorite drink

28.  An ability

29.  A family member

30.  Any person

31.  Someone you look up to

32.  Someone you respect

33.  Someone who inspires you

34.  Something you look forward to

35.  A happy life lessons

36.  A difficult life lessons

37.  Something that challenges you

38.  A personality trait in yourself

39.  A personality trait in others

40.  Your heritage

41.  Item you use daily

42.  Most prized possession

43.  Hobbies

44.  Something about school/work

45.  Technology

46.  A movie

47.  A TV show

48.  A podcast/YouTube Channel

49.  A book

50.  What you do for fun

51.  Something that makes you laugh

52.  Something nice

53.  A part of nature

54.  A gift you’ve been able to give

55.  A gift you were given

56.  A hope

57.  A compliment

58.  A passion

59.  An animal

60.  A pet

61.  A family tradition

62.  Medicine

63.  Doctors

64.  Police

65.  Firefighters

66.  Fire Alarms—even in the cold

67.  Teachers

68.  Clothes

69.  Electricity

70.  Heat

71.  Air Conditioning

72.  Transportation

73.  Cleaning supplies (with a pandemic, who isn't thankful for this one!)

74.  Exercise

75.  Health

76.  Education

77.  Mindfulness—use mindful gratitude to be thankful for this practice which helps us be present, calmed, and focused

78.  Love

79.  Kindness

80.  Understanding

81.  Comfort

82.  Forgiveness

83.  Color

84.  Indoor plumbing

85.  Blankets 

86.  Giant Coloring Pages

87.  Sport you watch or play

88.  A value you hold

89.  Your faith/beliefs

90.  Favorite store

91.  Smiles (we had “what makes you smile” this one would be seeing others smile!)

92.  Hugs

93.  Kisses

94.  Free time

95.  Art

96.  Weekends

97.  Quiet moments

98.  Forgiveness

99.  Life

Maybe you have one I have missed. Feel free to share in the comments. Help us build a language of gratitude. 

Help your student take time each day to reflect on a gratitude. Make this a family time activity. Make it a wake up routine. Make it a bedtime routine. 

Each morning I write my gratitude list. Each evening before bed I write my list of "what went well today." I start and end my day with positive thinking.

I encourage you to try this and engage your whole family too!

SEL at home

 Were you ever given permission to feel?

This may sound like an odd question. This question implies that you live in a world where feelings are not alright to experience unless given the green light to go. Social Emotional Learning(SEL) teaches us that all emotions are valid, acceptable, and we are allowed to feel at any time. 

For many the first education on emotions is taught at home. Historically we have been taught feelings based on; gender, race, ethnicity, and culture. Many boys are taught to not show sadness or sensitivity. Many girls are taught to smile and not show anger. Research also shows us that boys of color are taught to not be loud and move slow, so as not to appear scary. 

The messages we are taught at home are the ones we carry with us throughout life.

Taking time to teach SEL skills at home will help to build confidence, understanding, and increase empathy.

SEL at home

The link above is a great video, introducing the idea of SEL at home and school and how it can work together.

When we allow space for feelings to be felt and accepted, we allow space for our students to feel supported, understood, and thus increase their drive and ability to learn. 

Mood Identification

 "If we can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health."-Fred Rogers

For some of us Mr. Rogers and his neighbor taught us a lot about how to treat ourselves and others while entertaining us too. If I was home sick from school Mr. Rogers is what I would request to watch. This last week I started to take an online college course and the quote from Fred Rogers was in the class notes. It really stuck a cord with me and set me to thinking about how we teach our students about feelings.

I recently started reading the book Maybe You Should Take to Someone, by psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb and she also talks about the topic of how we address feelings. She states that often times women have the advantage over men when it comes to talking about feelings. She states that this is due to the fact that young girls are taught that it is alright to feel while young boys are often taught to be tough. 

Today, as we learn more and more about the human brain, we learn that we need to teach our children how to talk about feelings. There is a saying in psychotherapy "you have to name it to tame it." Simply put, if you want to understand and better handle an emotion, you need to know the name of the emotion you are feeling.

In his book, Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett a professor at Yale, introduces us to the Mood Meter. This graphic is a great way to start introducing feelings and talking about which we are experiencing. 

The X axis is the Pleasantness of the feeling and the Y axis is the Energy of the feeling. When we are low on pleasant and low on energy we are in the blue zone feeling; tired, bored, lonely, glum, etc. As we move up in energy but remain low in pleasantness we begin to experience; livid, angry, annoyed, peeved, etc. We can notice that once our pleasant feelings increase we enter the yellow and the green, depending on our energy.

The more we explore this graphic, the more we can name a feeling. Once we name a feeling we can decided to either sit with the feeling or shift the feeling.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept emotions as valid and real; no matter what zone they may be in at the moment. Practicing noticing feelings also shows us that feelings do not define us or our day; but rather can be seen as as plot point on our day. 

After we look at the mood meter we can ask ourselves "Is this emotion I am feeling helping me?" This question can help you see if you should sit with the feeling (usually those in green and yellow) or shift the feeling (usually those in red and blue). 

When helping your own student learn how to identify and talking about feelings take some time to show courage and identify your own. Remember studies show us that humans respond to the emotions of others. This means that if you are angry, you will speak from a place of anger, and thus your student will in turn experience anger and relate back to you in anger. 

Give the Mood Meter a try this week. Talk about feelings and validate them. The are real and present. Share your feelings with your student and allow them to share their feelings with you.

Mindfully Managing Fear to Find Courage

When we think about courage we often associate the word with; strength, fearlessness, and being tough. Sometimes courage looks like none of these things. Sometimes courage is that small voice telling you to keep trying one more time.

Mindfulness is a great way to cultivate a life of courage. Helping your student seek out courage can be as simple as taking some time to sit with them and teaching them to know and understand their own feelings.

Getting to know ourselves on a deep and honest level can take the very most courage we have. Avoiding feelings, avoiding challenges, avoiding understanding; all of this can be must easier than exploring the feelings, challenges, and things we need to understand. 

Mindful courage can sometimes simply look like saying "yes, I am afraid."

A couple of weeks back I was working with a couple of kindergarten friends and asking them about fear. I was helping them think about how mindfulness can help them overcome fear. The young boys told me that they were not afraid of anything. They said that they were strong and brave.

I talked with the boys about fear and how it can help us grow and help others. When we see our fears as as an opportunity to grow we can help others do the same.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept a feeling, as is, don't change it, don't deny it. Feel it. Accept it. Understand it.

As I continued to work with the boys they were able to share about times that the dark scared them. We explored taking deep breaths, asking for help, listening to surrounds to understand the darkness and being brave. 

The boys were able to be brave and share a fear and then be even braver and share how they would use mindfulness to calm their fear and work through it.

We can use our 90 second rule to feel our fear and then let it go and utilize courage. Courage is about finding our inner strength and accepting the feelings.