Glimmers

 Glimmer. The word alone brings a feeling of magic, wonder, beauty, and light to mind. When something glimmers it shines and sparkles. A glimmer is not dark, but rather it is a light. A spark of a shimmer. A micro moment of light.

The term Glimmer was coined in reference to mental health in Deb Dana's 2018 book regarding the use of the Polyvagal Theory in trauma therapy. More recently in February 2022, Dr. Justine Grosso popularized the term with  the use of a TikTok video.  

What is a glimmer? How can glimmers help us in the school setting? What can finding glimmers do for you?

A Glimmer is a Micro Moment of Joy and Safety. A Glimmer is the opposite of a Tigger.

When we talk about behavior of students we often ask "what triggered the behavior?" A trigger is a response to trauma. A trigger puts our bodies in Fight or Flight.

To fully understand a glimmer we first need to look fully at a trigger and the Polyvagal Theory. 

In 1995 Stephen Porges, an American Psychologist and Neuroscientist researched and wrote on his new theory, The Polyvagal Theory. This theory states that our autonomic nervous system is always searching for cues to determine danger or safety. The concept of our body scanning for these cues is called, neuroception. Neuroception involves our Vagus, also called Vagal Nerve.

The word Vagus is Latin for wandering. This nerve is named this due to the extend that it runs or 'wanders' through our body. The Vagus Nerve exits our Medulla Oblongata in our lower brainstem and travels down our neck and chest, through our heart and lungs and into our abdomen and digestive tract. 

The Vagus Nerve makes up 75% of our Parasympathetic Nervous System. If you think back to some previous blogs you will remember why this is important to us and mindfulness. When we take a deep breath in and release it slowly out for a longer time than taken in we engage our parasympathetic nervous system. This system is also called our "rest and digest" system. This puts our bodies in a state of homeostasis. It calms us.

The Vegus Nerve is responsible for; digestion, immune response, heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, mood, and many other functions in our body. 

When we experience a Trigger our Amygdala places our body in the Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, or Faint state of being. We need Glimmers to help us find a way out.

A Glimmer, as we have learned, is a cue, both internal and external, which leads us toward the feelings of ; joy, happiness, peace, love, and safety.

Glimmers help us regulate our stimulated and overwhelmed nervous system.

How do we know we have found our glimmer? We feel it. We experience a sense of calm and safety. We feel comfort and ease. We experience peace and joy. We know we are safe.

We should all take time each day to find a glimmer. Below are a list of possible glimmers. Remember they are meant to be micro moments. They are small moments of joy.

* Feeling the warmth of the sun on your face

* The cool feeling and smell of salty sea air

* The smell of fresh cut grass

* Spotting a Rainbow... or better yet, a double rainbow

* Seeing the sun sparkle on water

* The scent of lavender or other calming scents

* Petting a dog or cat

* Being in nature

* A smile from someone as you pass them by

* The perfect cup of coffee

* Holding and rocking a baby

* Smell of fresh baked bread

* Snuggling a soft blanket

* Humming a favorite tune

* Dancing to a favorite song

* Finding a new hobby

* Being creative

* Lunch dates with friends

* Brunch with a loved one

Finding glimmers helps us set our bodies in a state of safety and calm. Sharing our glimmers with others helps promote connection. 

Glimmers help reduce emotional distress and help us be more in the learning zone. 

Gratitude and Optimism

  "With gratitude optimism is sustainable." -Michael J Fox

                                          

Have you been lacking optimism lately? The end of the school year can drag. Testing can be challenging. You can lose your positive outlook on school, students, or even life. 

Thankfully we have a great way to help us reorganize our thinking. Gratitude Mindfulness.

In case reading his words didn't hit you with profound introspection, listen here - Find Something To Be Grateful For

This is a lesson we all need to learn and then pass along to our students. We have the ability to dig deep into gratitude and embody it daily. All it takes is a gratitude mindfulness practice.

I have shared about this mindfulness in the past, but it is always worth revisiting to remind us to reframe and refocus our thinking.

In a 2003 article Psychology Today shared information regarding our brains, the negative bias, and what it takes to create space for the positive.

The article started by sharing a study conducted by John Cacioppo, PhD. While Cacioppo was at Ohio State he conducted a study in which participants were shown positive pictures and negative pictures. The brain was watched during this time to see neurological reactions. 

This study concluded that our brains show a greater surge of electrical activity and a stronger response toward what is perceived as negative. From this information it was also observed that the negative more heavily influenced attitudes of participants. 

Let's take a moment to think about what this means in a home.

When something negative occurs brains are more readily attentive and reactive. Our children see others acting out, hear adults yelling, and thus their brains are on the negative path....and so is their attitude.

The Psychology Today article goes on to talk about multiple studies replicating the findings of Cacioppo. It has been discovered that what we need is to find that atmosphere needed between the negative and positive to help rewire the brain toward the positive. We need to find the balance. Our brains were hardwired toward the negative for survival purposes. We cannot undo this, but we can help change some wiring to see more positive.

In a study on marriage and sustainability, researchers found what they now call the magic ratio. If the magic ratio is utilized in a relationship, the relationship has a higher survival rate. The magic ratio is 5-1. 

We need 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction. 

Other studies looked at the magic ratio outside of a romantic relationship and found that the 5-1 continues to be what our brains need to find the right atmosphere between negative and positive.

Think about what this might mean with our homes. 

What might it look like if you made sure you followed up with 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction with this student?

We can use a Gratitude Mindfulness to help us with rewiring our own brains to see the positive. We can then use the magic ratio to create the atmosphere needed to help positivity thrive. 

A basic gratitude mindfulness practice asks us to notice at least 3 good things each day. Once we notice them, affirm them. Say them out loud or write them down. Finally, savor at least one. Pick one and think about all the senses involved in this gratitude. Think about what made this your gratitude. Savor the moment, place, or person.

Many gratitude practices will tell you to end each night with your gratitude. I personally start each morning with mine. I write out my gratitude as I sit alone in my dinning room sipping my morning coffee. Before anyone else is awake I savor the positives from the previous day and I think about the good that is to come. I like to rewire my brain for the positive before I enter school. I prepare my brain to be ready to see the good in our students. 

Can you practice a gratitude mindfulness today?

Can you practice the magic ratio?

Will your gratitude grow your optimism?

Compassion Mindfulness

Understanding compassion can help us truly cultivate compassion and practice it in our daily lives.

Compassion IS NOT the same as empathy. We need to understand the differences and why more often than not we should engage in compassion and not empathy. 

Do not get me wrong, we should not lack empathy. In psychology the lack of empathy is often seen as an indicator of a sociopathic condition. Empathy can help us build relationships and understand each other better. Utilizing empathy with others can show them that we care enough to feel with them. But feelings with others can sometimes cause more problems and we need to take a step back and create space and utilize compassion.

While empathy is, I feel with you; compassion is I feel for you and your feelings. 

German psychologist Tania Singer has engaged in extensive research on compassion and how it helps us grow our brains, heal our bodies, and create social awareness and connection. Tania talks about Brain-Body-Heart and how they are all connected.

Psychology profession Paul Bloom believes so strongly in compassion he wrote a book called Against Empathy. Paul sites compelling research by Tania Singer and others to back his idea.

Research participants in a study on compassion verses empathy were given an fMRI while being asked to engage in Compassion Mindfulness and Empathy Mindfulness. The results showed that empathy was exhausting, unpleasant, difficult and made people more likely to withdraw from helping others. On the other hand, compassion was found to be exhilarating, energizing, and created a positive experience and participants were more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors. Compassion helps us want to help others.

Another professor of psychology, David DeSteno has done research on mindful meditation and how it increases compassion.

There is a current cultural movement known as "Me Too". While it has brought things to light and created support for some, it has also created a lack of compassion for someone else's story. Research is showing that "Me Too" can hinder understanding of what others are going through. When we shift to empathy we get too close and do not listen as well. We engage in telling people our stories in response to their stories. 

A good way to engage in compassion is practicing mindful listening. To more accurately understand someone else's experiences we should not "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" but rather practice HEAR mindfulness.

H: Halt what you are doing and give your full attention

E: Enjoy a deep breath and take in what is being shared

A: Ask yourself if you understand what they are saying and ask for clarification if you do not

R: Reflect black what you heard to let them know you were listening

When I work on active listening skills with students I remind them, we listen to understand not respond.

Compassion isn't a response it is an action. I will show you I care by doing for you as I walk with you. 

Mindful People

 

I follow a few different mindfulness based pages on social media and the above graphic was posted this past weekend. I love what it says about mindful people. As I read it I connected with some and reminded myself to do better with others. I wanted to take time this week to review these 15 Things mindful People Do Differently.

1. They Don't Believe Their Thoughts - And They Don't Take Them All That Seriously. 

Our thoughts can lie to us. We can engage in self-doubt. Our thoughts can come from what other people have said to us. One of the best pieces of advice I have read states that we need to watch the words we say to children as we wake them and send them to school and what words we say to them as we say good night and send them off to sleep. Our words will stick in brains. The words of others will stick in your brain. For better or worse. When we practice mindfulness we can learn to sort, clear, reject, or embrace thoughts. Mindfulness can help us identify helpful and unhelpful thoughts. 

2. They Don't Try To Avoid Or Deny Emotions.                                                                                

Avoiding emotions does not make them go away. Denying emotions does not make them less real. Emotions exist. All emotions are valid and acceptable. Mindfulness teaches us to stop, take a breath, acknowledge and accept the emotion, and then work through it. If you take a bill you do not want to pay and place it in a drawer it does not vanish and you no longer have to pay it. It is still real and you still have to address it. Do not put your emotions in a box and pretend they do not exist. Address them as they come.

3. They Understand That All Things Come And Go.                                                                                 

Mindfulness helps us accept the present moment as it is. It helps us see the past for what it was. It helps us understand that while we may plan for the future we cannot control it. Everything comes and goes. Today may be winter and cold. Tomorrow may be sunny and spring. Seasons come and go. Days come and go. Feelings come and go. The more we accept them as they come the better we will become at letting them go.

4. They Do One Things At A Time.         

 If you search old blog posts you will find one that talks about the idea of multitasking and how our brains do not have the compacity for this and rather engage in what is called switchtasking. The more mindfulness we practice the more we can see how our brains engage in one activity at a time and we embrace this. Allow yourself the space to accomplish one task at a time. 

5. They Turn Everyday Tasks Into Mindful Moments.

I have shared in the past how when Leila was too young to understand mindfulness and deep breathing I did it for her allowing her body the opportunity to respond. When the typical 1.5 year old meltdown would occur I would pick her up and take exaggerated deep breaths. In a matter of seconds her body would respond and she would follow my breathing and clam down. Now at the age of 4.5 we take deep breaths together. Bedtime is our nightly struggle. She doesn't like to stop playing to sleep. We made up a mindfulness song "Take a breath, close your eyes, breathe deep, go to sleep". And we sing it every night and take deep breaths. In my home we often talk about focusing on the task at hand, focusing on our own behaviors, focusing on the moment. It is easy to find ways to make a mindful moment happen.

6. They Practice Being Curious.                                                                  

It is fun to be curious. You learn new things. There is always a way to use mindful curiosity to increase understand, build relationships, and reduce conflict. This is often called, perspective taking. When introducing mindfulness to students I share that mindfulness helps us understand our own feelings better and once we can do this we can then understand the feelings of others. The more we practice perspective taking the more we understand others and their feelings and emotions. Be curious about how others feel. Try taking their perspective. This is a great mindfulness technique that will build empathy and understanding.

7. They Get Outdoors And Embrace The Beauty Of Nature.        

Have you ever just sat outside on a warm sunny day and listened to the sounds of nature? This is mindfulness. You are fully present in the moment and connecting with your surroundings. Mindfulness grounds us in the present moment. Being outside and embracing nature is an amazing way to be mindful. You can practice sound mindfulness, by listening. You can practice the mindfulness of smell as spring bring in fresh scents. You can practice the mindfulness of sight by looking at the colors and shapes of nature. You can enjoy the mindfulness of touch by grazing the silky petals of a flower in summer. You can even enjoy some mindful taste time by picking and eating fresh fruit.

8. They Enjoy Every Bite When They Eat.            

 There are times I forget to engage in mindful eating. We get excited or hungry and we eat. We don't have time to enjoy and we eat. Most of the time we just eat without thinking. If you take a look back you can find a post on mindful eating. When I did my first mindfulness training we practiced mindful eating. We looked at the color, shape, and size of a raisin. We then felt the texture in our hands and smelled its aroma. Next we placed in on our tongue without chewing. Again we engaged in learning its texture and initial taste. Then we chewed for a minute. Slowly chewing and experiencing the food and its flavor. Then we ingested and enjoyed. This is a good way to practicing slowing down and being in the moment.

9. They Slow Down When Reading And Truly Take The Information In            

Reading from a physical book or page helps retain information more than reading from a screen. You have the tactile experience of holding and turning pages. You can engage with the information. You are present with what you are reading. Slowing down when you are taking in information helps you understand and experience the information in a more concrete way. Speed reading gets it done quickly and then you've moved away from the moment. Mindful reading is an experience. Immerse yourself in the information, the book, the moment. Taking time when reading creates engagement with the material and cements you in the present moment.

10. They Are Fully Present When Listening Without Trying To Control Or Judge.             

Listening to hear, not to respond. This is key. Listening to hear another persons perspective, feelings, and thoughts. Giving their time and story the respect you desire for your own. It matters. I like to listen and reflect back what I heard. I often say to students "I'd like to reflect back my understanding of what I heard you say, please correct me if I have confused details." This lets them know you were fully in the moment, listening to hear and understand them. This shows them you care to connect and you aren't formulating a response or judgment. 

11. They Take Mini-Breaks Every Hour Or So When Working Or Studying.              

There are time we all experience what is called Flow. Flow was coined in the 1970's by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. This is when we fully immerse in an activity. Flow can have benefits when we need to accomplish something, it gives great feelings of accomplishment, and creates a connection to what we are doing. But there are times we need to break out of flow and be more present. My senior year in high school I had an amazing English teacher who taught in what he called "short bursts" and would give us small breaks to take care of tasks. Now my watch will remind me once an hour to get up and move if I have been sitting too long. Mindfulness can involve movement. Mindfulness is about being aware in the present moment. Be aware your body needs movement and breaks. Mindfulness will teach you to listen to your body and it's needs and help you attend to them.

12. They Laugh At Themselves.          

 Be light hearted. Enjoy life. Don't take yourself so seriously. See the humor. Have fun. This is being in the moment. Embracement comes from our brains jumping forward and assuming others will remember this moment with unkindness and remind us of our folly. Being present in the moment helps us recognize that "this too shall pass." Mindful practice helps us be present in the moment and not judge the moment. 

13.They Focus On What They're Doing   

This is mindfulness. Being in the present moment. Focusing on what you are doing in the present moment. Letting other distractions fall away and being present. Focus on the task at hand and not worrying about what is to come next.

14. They Challenge Existing Beliefs 

 We all have beliefs we hold close and don't want to let go. Being mindful means we listen to others to understand and learn. Allow yourself to be open and present enough to not be offended by a challenge to your beliefs. Take time to explore and be present in what might challenge a belief. Mindfulness is about accepting a present moment without judgement. Be open to a belief you hold being challenged. Accept it then challenge and either change or strengthen your belief.

15. They Nourish Their Bodies

What does it mean to nourish your body? The definition of nourish is, to provide the body with food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition. Mindfulness helps us grow our minds and strengthen our prefrontal cortex. Mindfulness helps improve our mental and physical health. Mindfulness sets up our bodies for good condition. Mindfulness nourishes our minds and bodies. Mindfulness also helps us slow down and make wise choices on how we take care of our bodies and the other ways we nourish them.

RAIN

 

This week we will talk about Tara Brach's acronym RAIN and mindful self compassion.
Tara adapted her RAIN from the work of Michele McDonald. Both follow the same RAI but vary when it comes to the N. Both have a beautiful way to look at the mindful practice of self compassion.


R: Recognize what is going on
A: Allow the experience to be there, just as it is
I: Investigate with interest and care
N: (McDonald) Non-Identification, have the thought or feeling but not be it
     (Brach) Nurture with self-compassion

Brach shares that you can use RAIN as a stand-alone meditation or you can move through the steps whenever challenging feelings arise.

As I researched this topic and explored utilizing RAIN, I took time to relate it back to our basic definition of mindfulness.

At the beginning of the school year we started our mindful journey with the definition, "Paying attention, on purpose, without judgment."

Looking at RAIN you can begin to see connections to our definition.

R: Recognize or Pay Attention
A: Allow or With Out Judgement, simply accepting the feeling as being present
I: Investigate or On Purpose, having the intention of being with your feeling and understanding it
N: Non-Identification/Nurture- to me this last part is simply what we are striving to help ourselves and students achieve with the practice of mindfulness, the ability to have self-compassion and accept our feelings without becoming them.

Understanding each part of RAIN can help us explore and utilize it when it is needed.

R: Recognize What's Going On
This simply means to consciously acknowledge, in the present moment, the thoughts and feelings  that are present and affecting you.

A: Allow the Experience to be There, Just as It Is
This means that you allow the feelings, thoughts, and emotions to be present without judgement and without trying to fix them.

As I explored the A, I thought about The Beatles song, Let It Be. Some of the lyrics really connected to mindfulness for me. The lyrics repeat over and over in various ways that in times of trouble find words of wisdom, let it be. "And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be." "And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me, shine on until tomorrow, let it be."

The A in RAIN teaches us to feel our emotions and let them be.  Mindfulness is our light, shinning until tomorrow. We can accept the feelings as real, present, and ours. We do not need to reject the feelings because we are sacred, angry, or confused. Mindfulness is teaching us to allow them to exist without judging them. As we move into the I of rain we can then investigate and begin to understand their presence in our lives.

I: Investigate with Interest and Care and Kindness
After we take time to recognize what emotions are arising within us, then we can take time to deepen our attention and explore or investigate. We can take time to get to know our feelings and truly understand them. Brach shares that we can begin to ask ourselves the questions, What emotion wants my attention? How am I experiencing the emotions in my body? What do I need?

Again, as we did with A, we are making sure to explore and investigate without judgement. Our emotions exist within us for a reason. To promote a more accepting self-view we need to ensure that we engage our feelings without judgement.

N: Nurture with Self-Compassion and Loving Awareness/ Non-Identification
Mindfulness brings us here, to our response. What do we need? What do our students need? What emotion have we explored and where did we feel it in our bodies? What nurturing does our body need if those feelings were not positive? This is where we rest and sense our feelings but do not become them. We can feel our anger, but not become it. We can feel our sadness, but not become it. We can then work on the healing feelings we need to invite into our bodies. Do we need reassurance? Forgiveness? Acceptance? Friendship? Love? Kindness? Compassion? Understanding? Think about  what your students need. How can you help them work through RAI to get to N.

How can you help your students experience being in RAIN?

Try this week to take one letter a day to explore RAIN. Experience one RAIN drop of knowledge a day. Then on Friday, let it pour down RAIN. Take a few minutes to immerse your class in a healing RAIN shower.


This last link again reflects on Brach's RAIN and includes a mindful meditation practice you can utilize with your students once you have explored RAIN.

Engage with children, disengage with screens

 What if you had a tech free day, not a free tech day? 

Studies show that the amount of time we spend on a screen continues to increase. Did you know the posture most people sit in while engaging in smartphone use is head, neck, and shoulders hunched forward? This posture puts strain on the neck. Have you ever asked an 8-year-old to spend the day sitting on your neck and shoulders? Probably not, that sounds like a strange request. The posture you sit in while on your smartphone puts pressure on your neck and shoulders. That pressure is the same amount of weight as if you asked an 8-year-old to sit on your neck and shoulders.

Research shows an increase in mental health concerns for children and youth. The top three are anxiety, depression, and stress.

30% of 2-year-old know how to use a smart device but have limited to no language skills.

Many children age 3-4 years old use a smart device daily, however, they lack fine motor skills.

Recent studies have found that the number of children with a smart device addiction is higher than the rate of alcoholism in America. 

These recent studies report that there are three key things to look at to assess a smart device addiction.

1. Does this person show signs of anxiety?

2. Does this person show a lack of fear of consequences?

3. Does this person show a lack of impulse control? When was the last time you checked your phone? Did you know that research shows we check our phones on average of 150 times a day?!

A study done by Microsoft found that our attention span is now only 8 seconds. That is less than the attention span of a goldfish. 

We could dive deeper and deeper into study after study related to technology and how it can harm our children. This background is important to understand. This helps fuel a drive to encourage tech free times. 

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could increase attention span, reduce anxiety, and help address depression?

We can!

An article out of the Mayo Clinic from October 2022 shares that mindfulness can not only help with attention, anxiety, and depression, but possibly other health concerns.

The Mayo Clinic reports that mindfulness may help control diabetes, fibromyalgia, high blood presser, lessen insomnia, reduce pain, and reduce job burn out.

Take some time today to sit still, breathe deep, and calm your mind. Engage in a mindfulness practice daily. The Mayo Clinic suggests creating a daily routine. It is reported that after about six months it will become a habit completely interwoven into your daily routine. 

Quick 2 Minute Mindful Break

I encourage you to explore some tech free time and be mindful. 

I challenge you to start noticing how often you pick up from phone during the day. What if you put it down without looking at the screen? What if instead you took a deep breath and spent time engaged in mindful meditation? 

Remember, the more we work on our own attention span the better equipped we will be to help our students with their attention.

If we want engaged learners, we need to be engaged leaders. 

Calm the body with the body

Would you like to help your student calm when stressed, needs to get sleep, or are feeling overwhelmed?  

Have you ever heard of or tried The Havening Technique?

The Havening Technique was developed by Dr. Ronald Ruden. Dr. Ruden used decades of neuroscience research to create Havening.

Havening helps trigger the production and use of the Delta brain wave.

Delta Brain Waves are known to be the slowest waves and they promote deep levels of relaxation, restorative healing, and restorative sleep. Delta waves also promote healing and a stronger immune system. 

Problems with Delta waves are typically related to sever ADHD, brain injury, learning problems, and inability to think.

If Delta waves are suppressed it can lead to the bodies inability to create restorative sleep, inability to rejuvenate the body, and an inability to revitalize the brain. 

Ok...Now that we have had a mini neuroscience lesson to help us understand why Havening is helpful, let's get back to Havening.

Dr. Ruden has found that when practiced Havening's ability to trigger Delta waves can help the mind and body heal from trauma and stress. Havening has been shown to help de-traumatize the memory and remove negative affects of trauma on the mind and body.

The practice of Havening can be done by others or the self. Self-Havening is a great technique to teach to our students. It creates a mindfulness practice that can help us as adults find peace in our own minds and body and be better equipped to support our students.

The Havening Technique focuses of hand movement on three specific areas of the body. 

The Face

The Arms (downward from shoulder to elbow ... or all the way to hand to transition into hands)

The Hands